Sudden thoughts enter your head, and they all include a knife.
Undoing all the knots you've tied throughtout your life.
Inside you feel, like it's your only choice.
Calling out to all, but no one hears your voice.
I'm going now, is all you say.
Dreaming of your dying day.
Everything turns black; now you'll never get the chance to go back.
S U I C I D E
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Author's Comments
erm... a while ago, (as my closest friends will know very well) i went through a rough patch.... and almost ended the most important thing i have... my life.... so yeah... here ya go.... just.. dnt judge me...
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November 9, 2005
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Comments
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Is anyone following this? Coz i feel like i'm wrestling a sackful of monkeys here...
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Is anyone following this? Coz i feel like i'm wrestling a sackful of monkeys here...
Although now I almost wish that my... umm... yeah... nvm.
Cause now I'm suicidal, yet I will NOT kill myself, so I stuck somewhere in a Limbo.
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I am nothing but a shadow.
I know things suck, and throughout life things will always suck, but it's not worth killing yourself.
Suicide causes more pain to those you love, the type of pain that isn't easy to recvoer from.
That thought is the thought that stopped me.
You see, I her that I would always love her (which is true), and I promised her that I would not kill myself. And so if I stop loving her then I my word means nothing, and so then the second promise becomes pointless, and so then, yeah...
And because of my stupid mistakes she now detests me severely, and is currently being taken advantage of by some guy and she doesnt even realize it. And I am not allowed to have any contact with her by ruling of our school, so I cant do anything about it.
Not hurting those you love is what stopped you, but the only person I truly love (not like family "love", thats different) I dont think will be hurt if I die, and so I hold onto life because I love someone enough to not break the promise that I will always love her, so I am stuck in a paradox of not being able to stop loving someone, and if I do stop then I will die. So ugh!
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I am nothing but a shadow.
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